One Month Down, The Rest of our Lives to Go

So as of today, we've had the treadmill desks for one month.

That's been a month of literally walking through our video games.

-It's been a month of experimenting with best shoes, socks and even pants for walking extended periods of time.

-It's been a month of trying to figure out how not to overload the circuit where our computers are, since running 2 treadmills, 2 computers, the lights and the window A/C unit seems to be a real strain.

-It's been a month of waiting for Noah to drill the channel holes so that the big bunch of unsightly cords in the middle of our desk can go somewhere else.

-It's been a month of discovering that rotating shoes throughout the day helps with the foot pain. So does sitting at work with my feet on ice packs.

-It's been a month of discovering that when you walk a couple miles every day, you sleep the sleep of the righteous.

-It's been a month of drinking more water, thinking more about vegetable choices and healthier lunches, but still having a beer or two when the feeling strikes.

-It's been a month of not really missing much in World of Warcraft: my priest managed to get her 27k conquest point achievement for this season and she's in full Prideful Gladiator gear. My paladin is slowly getting her points (we started playing her late in the season with Noah's shaman). In other words, all of the things that I enjoy doing in WoW right now, we're still doing.

-It's been a month with experimenting with a new game, Wildstar. We've got several characters, we're taking our time exploring Nexus and all it has to offer in terms of new game play and features. But we're having a tremendous amount of fun.

-It's been a month of encouraging the kid to join us in our exercise by bribing her to walk 2000 steps a day when she's not in school. She liked it a first, but now it's just "boring." Either way, she understands that we want her to be active, because we're active. And that's a nice thing.

-It's been a month of learning when to just be okay with walking away from the computer, sitting down on the couch and icing my feet. Since this time, getting away from the computer involves sitting still instead of the other way around, it's a strange feeling to know that computer time is activity time.

-It's been a month of improvement with my bowling team, which I know is not really related, but it is. Before I knew we'd be doing this treadmill thing, I agreed to this social bowling thing. Sunday nights we bowl 3 games against another team in the same social league. The first week, I was exhausted at the end of it. I spent the week sore and in pain. The next weeks were varying: pain from the soreness, pain from being out of shape, exhaustion. But something amazing has happened the last 3 or 4 weeks: I'm not as exhausted at the end of 3 games. I'm not sore every single Monday through Thursday. Last week I was the high score (with my handicap, of course) for women. Granted, bowling once a week has improved my game, but it's improved more than ever since my stamina and my lower body strength has improved.

-It's been a month of hopefulness when I get dressed in the morning. I know that sounds crazy: losing weight, when you're a woman who has struggled with weight most of her adult life, makes your closet an emotional minefield. There are the clothes you wish still fit, the clothes you know won't fit, the clothes that you can fit and the ones that will definitely fit. Generally, I wear the same 5 or 6 outfits to work because I know they fit. Or at least they work. I hate the idea of buying more clothes at a size I don't like to be. I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life, and it makes me avoid cameras, shun mirrors, and withdraw a little bit. But now some pants that were a little too snug fit a little better. Some skirts look a little nicer. I'm not kidding myself, I've still got a long way to go (about 80 to 90 pounds, actually), but that first time you pull on a pair of pants that didn't fit a while ago is such a great feeling, I can't even quite describe it.

-Mostly, it's a month where we've shown our kid that it's okay to exercise and that it's fun to be healthy, not juts about body image or shape. I have this amazing 8 year old who finishes 2nd grade today. She's going to do amazing and wonderful things, and I want to be around to see them all. So, I'll just keep walking.

And hopefully, somewhere down the road, she'll realize that exercise is an important part of who she is, too. Not because she wants to be a specific size or shape, but because she wants to love herself and her body enough to treat it well. It's a vehicle and she needs it for the long trip ahead. Hopefully she'll see our attempts to maintain our own as a guide for her own life.